The remake of the cult classic “Road House” on Prime Video, directed by Doug Liman and starring Jake Gyllenhaal, has been criticized for its lack of charm, charisma, and memorable dialogue, with the only redeeming feature being UFC superstar Conor McGregor‘s over-the-top performance.
Hollywood’s movie-making machine is a relentless beast. It churns out remakes and reboots, for better or worse. Few of them hit the mark, though. Zack Snyder’s 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead is a rare gem. But, let’s face it, most attempts flop miserably. We’re looking at you, Oldboy, Psycho, Point Break, Ghostbusters, White Men Can’t Jump, and the rest.
For years, we’ve heard whispers of a Road House remake. At one point, UFC Hall of Famer Ronda Rousey was even set to star in it. But then, like many before it, the project fizzled out.
The original Road House, a 1989 cult classic starring Patrick Swayze, wasn’t exactly a hit with critics. Roger Ebert, though, nailed it when he said, “this is not a good movie … but viewed in the right frame of mind, it is not a boring one, either.” It wasn’t a box office sensation, but it did become a fan favorite over time, thanks to cable TV. It’s a movie that, somehow, gets better with age.
Now, there’s a new Road House remake on Prime Video. And, well, it’s not great. It’s hard to imagine anyone rushing back to watch, quote, or experience this one again.
Doug Liman, known for Edge of Tomorrow, Swingers, and The Bourne Identity, directed it. Jake Gyllenhaal stars. But this Road House remake (or reimagining, if you prefer) lacks the charm and machismo that made the original so watchable.
In this version, Gyllenhaal plays Elwood Dalton, a former UFC fighter with a dark past. He’s not a career bar bouncer. He’s the guy who shows up at underground fight clubs and scares off the competition before a punch is thrown. His intimidating presence catches the eye of a bar owner (played by Jessica Williams), who hires him to clean up her seaside bar, ‘The Road House.’ Of course, the place is plagued by a group of troublemakers: 40-year-old adolescents, felons, power drinkers, and trustees of modern chemistry.
Dalton takes the job, reluctantly. He soon finds that this small town in the Florida Keys has more going on than just rowdy bar patrons. He gets mixed up in everyone’s business. There’s a run-in with a doctor at an emergency room that leads to a half-hearted romance. He crosses paths with the local rich guy, who wants to buy The Road House to build a fancy resort. The rich guy’s motivation? To show off his success to his father, who’s rotting away in prison.
Pretty much everyone in this film feels out of place. Especially Gyllenhaal, who’s trying to play a stoic tough guy without any of Swayze’s charm or charisma. The only time Gyllenhaal’s character has an enjoyable interaction is in the film’s trailer, where he takes on a group of bikers determined to trash the bar he now calls home.
Outside of that one fight, Gyllenhaal’s Dalton seems half-asleep and stuck in quicksand in every other scene. He’s a great actor, and he’s done well in past action roles. But this one? It’s not his best work.
The rest of the cast is largely forgettable. Billy Magnussen does his best with limited material as the film’s villain. But his smirking smugness is overshadowed by his inability to do much of anything right in this movie. He comes off more as a buffoon than a worthy adversary for Dalton. That problem, like so many others with this film, falls on the shoulders of screenwriters Anthony Bagarozzi and Charles Mondry.
The only person in the entire production who could have fit into the original is UFC superstar Conor McGregor. He plays an over-the-top version of himself as a hired gun named Knox. He comes to the Florida Keys to clean up the mess that Magnusson’s character made. His cocky Irish accent, brash physicality, and wide-eyed mean-mugging are the only enjoyable parts of this movie.
McGregor isn’t a seasoned actor, but he steals every scene he’s in. He attacks his role with an over-the-top enthusiasm that should have been contagious. But no one else in the film follows his lead, and the movie suffers for it.
What should have been a goofy, fun action film gets dragged down by an overambitious and nonsensical plot. The fight scenes will drive you crazy, too. There are too many digital effects, and the action feels more flashy and modern than gritty and real.
One of the best parts of the original was the hilarious, yet addictively memorable dialogue. Lines like, ‘Pain don’t hurt,” or “You’re too stupid to have a good time!” are unforgettable. But this film offers nothing worth quoting, except for a few lines delivered by McGregor.
You’d think that Liman and the screenwriters would have kept some of the best parts from the original Road House in the remake. Instead, it feels like they took all of that out and replaced it with a poorly written script that forgets how to have a good time.
The runtime for this movie is ridiculously long, too. Over two hours. They could have easily cut it down to 80 minutes without missing a beat.
Even if this wasn’t a remake, Road House feels like a movie that started with the best of intentions as a modern-day action-comedy. But the finished product reminds you why Amazon dumped it directly to streaming rather than putting it in theaters. There’s not much funny about this movie, and it fails to live up to the original in every way possible.
If you want to see McGregor crank things up to 11, watch a supercut. Otherwise, just revisit the original film and see how Swayze and company did it right.